Originally published at These are just words. You can comment here or there.

I received a letter today that reminded me of Richard Herring’s slightly scary The Pizza Lover experience. Only my letter wasn’t about pizzas - it was much worse than that.

Today I received a letter addressed to “The Council Tax Payer”.

Given that I only bought my house two months ago, I can’t help but think that this is rather presumptuous. It seems to imply that I am indeed a payer of council tax, when the sad truth is that I’ve never paid any council tax in my (pitiful, mostly student) life. Surely a better way to address me would be “The Prospective Council Tax Payer”, or even… dare it be said… “Person whom we would very much like to pay up their council tax”. Even calling me “Paul” or “Dr Townend” might be an improvement.

I suppose there is a chance that the letter isn’t for me… as I’ve said, I have never paid any of this accursed tax. I wonder if I should forward the letter on to the previous owners of my house? After all, I have their new address, and presumably one of them may be known (even in their own family) as “The Council Tax Payer.”

I’m not suggesting that the family who previously owned my house were so cheap that they ganged up on a member of their own family, gave them a name based on their sole use to the family, and forced them to pay tax on their behalf every year. Don’t be silly. I would never suggest that.

Anyway, it’s certainly an option. I suppose another option would be for me to return the letter to the council, with a short note. Perhaps something along the lines of “Actually, there is no council tax payer here - they moved away. Or at least, were dragged away by the rest of their family of tightwads. Please leave me alone.”

Decisions. Crikey!